Forget the past.
Forget the pain.
Forget your fear.
Forget the sadness.
Forget all that ever made you suffer.
Even if it's love that makes you suffer,
Forget it all.
Just forget everything.
I am not...I am not normal,I'm different.
I am not plain,I'm strange.
I am not strong,I'm weak.
I am not "lady like",I'm a tomboy.
I am not gonna cry in front of someone,
I am gonna cry only when i am sure its safe to,only when on one is around
I'll act like I'm fine but inside i know I'm lying.
this is who i am.
tears and bloodthese tears roll down my face,coming down nonstop,
i try repress it but all i do is make it worse,
i try to talk to people about how i feel but i find
i am unable to find the right words to say.
i see how almost everything i do & say hurts those
around me but i cant stop myself.
then the blood rolls down my arm the same way my tears roll down my face,
but i dont feel any of it anymore,all i feel is pain now.
i hear what everyone is saying & its finally getting to me.
could it be that they are right?
could it be time to say good bye?
I pretendI pretend...
...that nothing is wrong.
...that I'm fine.
...to be able take just about anything.
...that nothing bothers me.
But to be honest inside of me...
...I'm really crying.
...almost everything is wrong.
...I can't help but tear up.
...I'm slowly dying.
...I can't handle most thing's.
... almost everything bothers me.
nothing will change thisnothing anyone says can change how i truly feel.
i would live & die for her.i want to protect her.
i would do anything for her.she is the one person who can make me feel so weak & yet so strong when i am around her.
she is the light to my darkness.
she is my world.my heart belongs to this one girl now & nothing anyone says can change any of this.to me nothing & no one can compare to her.
is it wrong for a girl to love another girl? its not wrong to me.
there is nothing wrong with love.
does it matter who you love,whether its male female? to me it doesn't.
so often do people say its wrong & gross if your gay,lesbian or bisexual but to me its all the same no matter how you look at it,
love is love.for i love my girlfriend & nothing anyone says can change this.
this is what i get for fallingThis what i get for falling again.
I should have been more careful.
I should have stopped myself.
I cant go back,I'm stuck right where I'm at.
Was he right?
Am i wrong?
why must i feel this way?
deaththe coldness surrounds me,i slowly become numb.
i know that i am slowly dieing & there is nothing
i can do about it for i am to weak.i try to
move & find i have become paralyzed."Its my time
to go i guess" i think to myself then close my eyes
and slowly fade away to the darkness
I wantI want to see what people see in me,the good & the bad.
I want to hear what people say about me,the good & the bad.
I want to feel like I'm not so alone,even if i am or not.
I want someone to tell me that they will never let me go,mean it & go through with it till the end & so on
I want someone to protect me out of love,not out of anger or jealousy.
I want to at least feel like i am safe.
do you knowDo you know?
Do you know that I cry myself to sleep?
Do you know I am to afraid to tell you out of fear of what you'll think?
Do you know I am afraid of being alone forever?
Do you know I fear losing you more then anything else?
Do you know I hate how no one really care's?(even though some say they do)
Well I bet you didn't know everything is destroying me
completely finally after all this time,that acting
like I am fine is tearing me apart from the inside
out & I am unable to stand it any longer,I cant
sleep at night without waking up at least six times
because of nightmares having to do with you in some
way or another,I cant do this anymore,its driving
to the brink & I am unable to fight this much,I am
not strong or brave or smart, I am weak,
scared,stupid & despite what
you think I know I am nothing compared what those around
me,those who seem to always be here but yet I am
always alone,& this is how its been my whole life & i
grow tired of it I believe its time to end this all,
Cryingthe pain wells up inside of me,I try to control it,but I'm unable to do so,so i lose it.I finally break down,I lose myself to my emotion.I cry falling to the ground and i am unable to find the strength to get up.i stay there crying,none stop.i try to stop but i find my self crying even harder,so i let my self go and slip into nothingness hoping I'll stop soon before anyone see's this weak side of me.
Feel the PainI've been through it
I've seen it all
Now watch me as I slowly fall
Watch me as I slowly crumble
See me as I hit the ground
Hear me barely make a sound
Feel the pain I hold inside
Think the thoughts as I collide
Now watch me as I rise back to my feet
Watch me be the one you can't defeat
See me as I make my way
Hear me as I calmly say
"Feel the pain I hold inside"
Think of me as the one who survived
You're Not Alone..I see a boy in pain..
I see him say that he's alone..
I see the cuts upon his wrists..
I see them on my own..
I see the scars that never fade..
I see the wounds that never heal..
I see them say that no one knows the way they feel..
I feel the world of hate..
I feel the hopelessness and pain..
I feel the despair..
I feel heartbreak..
I feel sometimes insane..
I feel as if no one cares..
I feel as if no one's there..
Don't ever say I don't..
Don't ever think you're alone..
Don't ever let it bring you down..
Just know..that I'll always be around..
With my hands to hold you..
My heart to love you..
My voice to talk to..
And my spirit to always be with you..
They Never Need To KnowI know I'm not okay
I know there's something wrong
I won't let them know it
I'll plaster on a smile
I'll force a happy laugh
They don't need to know I'm not okay
They never need to know
I know that I'm depressed
I know it's not okay
I'll never let them see it
I'll act like I always do
I'll laugh and joke and shout
They don't need to know I'm depressed
They never need to know
I know I hate my family
I know that's never good
I'll never let them hear it
I'll hug my mom
I'll kiss my grandmother
They don't need to know I hate my family
They never need to know
I know that I hate myself
I know that's not the best thing
I'll never let them learn it
I'll straighten my hair
I'll put on my makeup
They don't need to know I hate myself
They never need to know
The Devil's WhisperI can't take it anymore.
This unbearable pain I feel.
It's getting worse every day.
I don't think I'll ever heal.
I have all these thoughts.
They're raging inside my head.
Do I rebel against temptation?
Or simply just give in.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
This battle ended long ago.
I never even had a chance.
So I'll stop pretending and just let go.
I'll give into the devil's whisper.
As I bring the gun to my head.
I'll recite one last prayer.
Then *BANG* I'm dead.
But even though I'm gone.
I still have one more thing to tell.
You haven't seen the last of me.
For I'll see you all in Hell.
Time After TimeTime after time I hear those same words
"I'll never leave you"
"We'll always be friends"
"I won't ever hurt you"
But they're all lies
Time after time
Time after time I feel those same emotions
But they all fade
Time after time
Time after time I think those same thoguhts
"I love you"
"You're perfect for me"
But they all die
Time after time
Time after time
I hear those same words
I feel those same emotions
I think those same thought
But time after time
And time after time
I'm left more broken inside
My MaskSo many nights with the razor to my wrist
so many scars that turn and twist
showing the pain, hurt and deceit
each and every day, doomed to repeat
My facade has been built
I wear my mask, but with guilt
why is it so hard to break down and cry
it hurts too much, even to try
My true self hidden behind a wall
to climb, its much too tall
break it down slowly, chip it away
maybe I'll be free one day
Who am I?Gender?
What is in a gender?
The sound of your voice?
The hair on your head?
The shape of your lips?
The presence or lack of parts?
The curve of your body?
Does it matter?
Who is who,
What gender is what,
Which person you are,
How do you fit in?
What is in a gender,
If you don't like it?
If you cant stand it?
If you cant fit in your own skin?
Why is it one or the other?
Cant you be both?
Who am I?
I Deserve....When I tell you I am fine,
you better look between the lines,
because even I could tell you,
that's a Lie.
My eyes say,
what my heart,
I deserve to be alone.
I deserve the pain.
Still I miss love.
I still miss him.
This is what I deserve.
But you'd never hear it from me.
You'd have to just see it in my eyes....
I Want...I want it to,
I don't want to,
I'm done with my,
So just give me the,
I won't take any,
I just want to,
There is no more to be,
Because now I'm,
My Invisible HeartI gave you my heart,
But you never gave me yours.
I placed my heart in your hands,
And you dropped it.
It killed me on the inside,
But I wear my mask to protect myself.
I kneeled next to my heart,
My best friend gave me a needle and thread.
I sat for hours fixing what you broke.
I finally finish fixing my heart.
When my best friend tells me,
She is going out with you...
My invisible heart broke again and again...
Little GirlWhen push comes to shove
It's just me against the world
I'm a lot weaker then I appear
I'm just a little girl and I'm scared
Do You?Do you love me?
Do you care?
Because I don't see it
When your right here
You seem diffrent
From how you usually are
It's nothing to think about
You have to know
So do you see
What your doing
To me here
I'm lost and crying
So make up your mind
When you do then find me
We can talk
We can laugh
We can play like we used to back in the day
We can go back to our old ways
Because I Love you!
Go AwayDon't break down those walls.
[I built them for a reason.]
I don't want to see reality.
[I don't want to see the shadows.]
Its FunnyIts Funny
Its funny how I laugh about it
Like I'm hoping the pain would die
Its funny how I smile about it
But its funnier how I'm crying inside
Its funny how I seem alright
Like I'm having the best day of my life
Its funny how I just deny everything
But its funnier how I know it just doesn't feel right
Its funny how I try not to remember
Erase the memories, I know
Its funny how I seemed to have moved on
But its funnier how its so hard to let you go
Its funny what the people say
I act as if I don't care
Its funny how they look at me crazy
But its funnier when I think its unfair
Its funny how I feel that you lied
Like you won't when you said you'ld call
Its funny how I remember everything you said
But its funnier when you said you'ld catch me if I'd fall
Its funny how I try to be strong
Like a storm won't even break me
Its funny how I miss your smile
But its funnier now that I will never see
Its funny how I miss you
But I just saw you not a day ago
Its funny how I have so many qu
But could you help me?
You see I've lost something.
Very close to me.
She wasn't very special.
But she was still girl.
And a heart.
She's been gone quite a while.
And I'm starting
To get scared.
I miss her so dearly.
Will she come back?
It's just not fair.
I think about her.
If she's ok.
It's a tough world out there.
And only the strong
I know it's a lot to ask.
But I could really
Use your help.
Do you think?
You could help me find myself?
For OnceI can't keep up the lies.
The charades can't keep coming.
My mask is suffocating me,
And every lie I tell
Is making it worse.
Why can't you just see?
Take that blindfold
Off your face.
All that makeup won't
Allow you to see my pain.
I can't keep this up.
I'm going to crack.
And when I do,
You, you'll be to blame.
It will be your fault,
Because you're the ones
Who inflicted this
You are the ones
Who will be responsible
For every single last tear
That will be streaming down my face.
All those years of
Will all rain down
On one night.
Why can't you see?
Why can't I be okay for once?